Stripped down to the ROOTS....

Hello my fellow bloggers and readers, I know it has been long but I guess my time to blog has been limited and for me I wouldn't want to blog for the sake of blogging but really want to blog when I have some that I feel has been heavy on my heart to share. Its been an amazing couple of weeks, preparing for my upcoming trip to the USA!!! I am super excited and looking forward to the experience. Been an exam marathon with four exams in 9 days but I tell if there was ever I time I would say I am fortunate it has been the past few days.

But enough about me will post an update blog soon just to tell all of you about my travels and experiences. Maybe will have a quick highlights journal for my time away. So yesterday was a pretty interesting day for me, stressful to say the least. I had a humongous report to hand in and had a major exam that afternoon. I have to admit its the first time since high school that I was actually nervous about my exam. Got in there knots in my stomach but as always God pulled through for me (I wonder why I keep doubting and = Him being more faithful = GRACE). So that evening I went frantically searching for a power supply for my laptop, mine packed up a few days ago. So I find myself in a friends room her name is Moi and we chat about anything and everything but our discussion moved from studies to relationships to the title of my blog today ROOTS.

The basis of the discussion was that to solve or work through a problem be it a character flaw or relational problem you need to identify the root. But behind every root there is another root. I would say roots are like onions when you start peeling it you find out that there are more layers behind it than you first realised. I shared with her my life about how a lot of my driving force even today has been being occupied. As I began to talk I slowly realised that from the time I was young I always did a lot of things. I learnt how to cook early on, I did arts and craft, I got to primary school and played every sport the school offered, I got into music and poetry, got into leadership roles. All that was who I was. I remember if I would meet people the topic of discussion quickly moved from my name to who I was and what I did. Reflecting on it now and even the past year I have begun to realise my identity lay in what I did and never who I was. This trend continued through high school and even my 1st two years of university. I wanted to be Taurai the go to guy, If you needed something done I was the man with the plan. If I didn't know how to do it I would make sure I found out.

Slowly as I had layers of my character I found out my need to be needed. Another layer peeled off became my need to be accepted, another layer off became my need to be loved. That's when it began to sink in, on the surface it seemed all my problems lay in my need to be popular. But it became clear my need was far greater than popularity and fame, it was the basic human need to be LOVED. A need that no human, no fame, no position can ever satisfy. All these other things were like trying to fill the Atlantic ocean one teaspoon at a time. The momentary resolve is there but the lifetime void lingers in the background.

I guess I want to leave you guys with a question, whether you are a student, a wife or husband, a teenager or working class executive. Who would you be if nothing was going for you, if you didn't have your job, if you weren't a small group leader or part of the band. If your studies weren't going so well, or the hot girlfriend you had broke up with you. After all the layers of who you think you are, what is left? If all that's left is one giant gaping hole then I suggest you fill it with something that never fades. Truth of it is nothing and i mean NOTHING will ever satisfy. People will pass on, houses will burn to the ground and companies will go under, but the one who loved us first, He ain't going nowhere.

Learnt a new acronym today and its for the word GOSPEL. God.took.Our.Sin.Paying.Everyone.Life

love, peace and happiness

Tau